Monday, June 23, 2008

Suburban Obsession #27 -- My Eardrums Are No Longer Bleeding

Kiddie music is generally not good. All right, all right. I'm being kind. Kiddie music sucks monkey peanuts. Two days ago, I would have felt confident saying, "Yes, all of it" in response to a childless person's query of, "Really? All kiddie music? That hardly seems possible." Yes, a thousand times, YES. By good I mean music my son and I can both listen to without me either drifting off and daydreaming about Carl Kasell or wanting to gouge sharp objects in my ears.

Here's the thing: I actually used to work with clients in the music industry. I can't name names, but among them were labels like a certain behemoth whose name rhymes with "Pony". What's worse, is that I specialized in children's entertainment, so I am intimately familiar with the crap out there that passes for children's music. I'm not saying people haven't tried to do cool children's music. I'm just saying no one has succeeded beyond the occasional lullaby effort by one or two sentimental postpartum mothers and the very hip preschool collection by "They Might Be Giants".

Sadly, The Ambassador's musical taste and mine do not generally mix. He likes hardcore, parental-stroke-inducing kiddie music, and I lean toward... well... anything else. However, in the Barenaked Ladies "Snack Time", it appears we have landed on a happy medium.

Without question, "Snack Time" has the silliest lyrics I've heard in ages. The Ambassador's favorite is "Popcorn", and if it doesn't get you off your feet hopping around like a maniac with the sole goal of making your kid giggle, nothing will. My favorite is "7 8 9", and even Hubby broke a wry smile at the lyrics:

Nine was minding his business
Talking to 10 about Gordy Howe's clothes

Why 7 ate 9, nobody knows.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10

What about 9?

Seven ate nine!

One final note: do you think you can still call them albums even though you're downloading them from iTunes? I really struggled with that while writing this review and opted to simply avoid the word altogether. But, seriously, how do you refer to that? iTunes still calls them albums, but is that because Steve Jobs is even older than I am? We'll figure that out another day. In the meantime, do your ears a favor and get yourself some Barenaked Ladies.


soapyB said...

I was ready to buy the album (sure, I think we can still call them albums) but ... nothing about Mineteen?

Hmm...having second thoughts. Only goes up to ten?

Just joshing, of course. It sounds great!

Karen said...

Talk to me about music for dogs, and THEN, you'll rally have me paying attention!!!

Lindsay said...

ooh, im all over it!!!!!!! i'm ready to do violent things to the country kids sing-a-long in my car. the johnny cash kids album is another winner btw

LceeL said...

I love my iPod. I download ALL of my music now. I have over two DAYS worth of music on my iPod. I have NO bare naked ladies. I have NO kiddee music. But I DO have Vienna Teng. and Regina Spektor. And James Taylor. And Bach and Beethoven and Vivaldi. And Harry Chapin.

Because I am the only person that I have to share my music with.

No kids. No SWMBO. (you DO know who THAT is, right?) No Sons. NOBODY but ME.

I love my iPod.

sandwiched said...

I love this album, too. My 4 yo daughter was actually born to a BNL album, so buying this one was a no-brainer.

However, I'm now collecting too much kids' music on my iPod, so I may have to upgrade and give my kids the old pink iPod mini. Loaded up with THEIR tunes, of course.